Ugh. I know you don’t even want to deal with this now because you are exhausted, but you must. It only gets more difficult the longer you wait. It isn’t going away.
Do any of these situations describe yours?
- Your husband hasn’t been engaged emotionally. You didn’t want to rock the boat so you didn’t say anything. He thought things were okay. Now you are fighting resentment and don’t have the emotional energy to even try.
- One spouse has announced their intention to separate or divorce. Is there a way to repair this, even though the grass looks greener?
- You have had the thought, “I wish something would happen to my spouse–not to be mean or anything–but if they were just gone, I could move on.”
- You don’t even know how to talk about anything meaningful. You make small talk to keep the kids and house moving along, but you can’t ever bring anything up.
- You don’t know how to handle conflict of any kind. So you don’t say anything or your spouse runs away. Or maybe one spouse tries to control everything so the issues go away.
- Trust has been broken because of infidelity or secret addictions. Forgiveness isn’t enough—can you rebuild the trust? Do you even want to?
What’s the common theme here? These are relationships in crisis. Something needs to change soon. I have been overwhelmed with emails lately asking for help with the above situations. I’m going to help you with a 40-Day Challenge to:
- Give you clarity about what the REAL issues are. And no, they probably aren’t what YOU THINK they are.
- Demonstrate with specific words and actions how to handle conflict, how to have difficult conversations (without it blowing up), how to connect, how to handle everything you are struggling with. It can be with a spouse, teenager or toddler.
- Put into words what you have wanted to tell your spouse, but haven’t been able to. It’s human nature. I won’t listen if my wife says it–but if someone who makes sense says it, it hits home. I will help you give voice to what you’ve wanted to say as a hurt or misunderstood spouse.
- Develop a very specific game plan to move forward. I don’t want to just give you perspective and hope; I want you to give you clear, doable action steps to make progress. We will accomplish this through a 40-day, intensive, online Relationship Rescue Challenge. You will receive a new message every day to reinforce what we discusses and practice making small steps.
I can give you fifteen excuses why you shouldn’t do this. But here’s why you should.
- I have been in your shoes. Staring divorce and a broken relationship right in the eyes. I’ve experienced the dread, the pain, the loneliness, the fear, the anger, the shame. This is the hardest thing you have ever done.
- Half of the problem is you. Not your spouse. Not your child. You can run, you can move on with your life when this person is gone. But then you will look in the mirror and find the problem staring back at you. And you’ll end up repeating the same patterns in your next relationship.
- This requires an investment. I don’t want people treating this as an optional or nice little thing to do. This is hard. This is critical. You know what’s even more expensive? Getting a divorce. Paying attorneys. Splitting property. And that’s not even the greatest cost. But I know some husbands are going to use this as an excuse. You don’t have to use this program, but you better get help somewhere.
- It’s embarrassing to admit you need help. Good. This process is going to require a tremendous amount of humility and honesty. Having the courage to say, “We need some help” is an extraordinary first step. Besides, you’re going to going through this with other good people who also give a darn about their relationships. I’d rather be in this position than suffering in silence, alone, about to lose everything meaningful.
- You can rationalize putting it off. “Oh, maybe it will get better.” “We don’t have time right now, Let’s just get the kids off to college and then we’ll do it.” You know you are lying to yourself. Want to give your kids a gift? Let them see your lives transformed before them.
- I want you to show self-respect. For some of you, this is the underlying issue. You don’t think you deserve or are worthy of a good relationship with a man who treats you with respect. So you settle. Or you suffer in silence. Don’t.
My regular fees for consultations are $250 per hour. You will get 40 days of mentoring–plus special messages each week answering your questions–via email.
Register for Calm Couples Marriage Challenge: 40 Days of Practical Strategies for $497 per family.
This includes participation by both spouses. You can practice the new skills right in your home.
Begin the New Year with a new you, a new marriage.
If you need payment plans or have any questions, call Brett at 888-506-1871. He is the friendliest person on the planet and can answer all of your questions.
What can you expect?
I am going to speak in very specific, blunt terms so we can get every issue out on the table. There will be great clarity.
You may participate alone if your spouse will not.
Some will say, “This is just B.S. I’m not wasting my time and money on this.” No skin off my back, but those are the words of an immature man. You don’t have to participate in this program, but do get some help. Work is easy-—relationships are scary and the most difficult thing we’ll ever do.