Celebrate Calm with Kirk

Are you tired of yelling, nagging and throwing your own tantrums from morning to bedtime? Yeah, I know, we have intense kids. But calm is not an absence of noise, problems or chaos. It means that instead of people and situations changing you, YOU spread your calm and change your environment. That’s pretty cool. And if an intense, driven, Type-A, anxiety freak like me can do it, you can. Ready to change yourself and your family for generations to come?

Tired of perfect Peggy and judgmental family? Part II

Are you sick and tired of living defensively, afraid of how your kids are going to act, anxiously waiting for the meltdown? That’s no way to live. You need to be a calm, confident parent! Let’s look at 5 more ways to enjoy your kids even when they aren’t perfect. 6. Let family see your… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 21, 2011 by Kirk Martin

When family members judge you and your kids…Part I

Do you end up dreading family vacations or get-togethers because your parents or siblings judge you? Do you stay on edge worried that your kids are going to misbehave, break something or be too loud for your uptight family? Here are 5 ways to discipline your children; be respectful of relatives; and keep judgment, embarrassment… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 19, 2011 by Kirk Martin

How do you handle conflict?

As long as you interact with people, you will experience conflict and bad news. It’s a given. We must be introspective again and understand how we deal with conflict. Because how we handle conflict will largely determine whether we have healthy relationships or not–with our children, spouse, siblings, parents, bosses, friends and ourselves. It is… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 14, 2011 by Kirk Martin

How do I get my kids to stop being so moody?

Q: How do I get my kids to stop being so moody? It just irritates the heck out of me. I try to give them games to play and engage, but then end up yelling. And it doesn’t do any good. So how do I get them to change their attitudes? A: I know how… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 12, 2011 by Kirk Martin

I refuse to allow strangers to dictate my lifestyle…

I refuse to allow strangers to dictate my lifestyle and what my family values. I refuse to allow embarrassment, fear, anxiety and peer pressure to dictate how I parent my kids. If you do not make a  firm decision and have a plan to guide your values, the tide of societal pressure and expectations will… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 11, 2011 by Kirk Martin

“Cut it out!”

When your child is being annoying, it’s easy to bark, “Cut it out!” That just inflames the situation and tells the child, “I’m not interested in helping you. I just can’t deal with it right now.” Instead, sit down. Put your feet up. Take a deep breath. Control your own anxiety and seek to understand,… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 9, 2011 by Kirk Martin

When kids make threats…

What should I do when my daughter threatens to run away? How do we normally react as parents to such threats? Our anxiety and fear kicks in–and we immediately respond with our own threat–we spout whatever consequence comes to mind. That inflames the situation and makes the child want to run away more! If we… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 7, 2011 by Kirk Martin

I had an inkling I was off to a bad start…

A Dad who is going through Calm BootCamp emailed me this weekend after the following adventure at Six Flags north of Chicago. I asked him to share the process he went through so we could all learn from him. I bet you can relate to this even as you laugh. Kirk, I had an inkling… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on July 5, 2011 by Kirk Martin

I refuse to change my child to make others more comfortable…

I refuse to change my child to make others more comfortable or alleviate my own embarrassment. I love his creativity, intensity, imagination and wit. I prefer his strong will, strong opinions and strong sense of self. His behavior isn’t perfect, but his heart is golden. He is not a follower; he is a leader. Together,… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on June 30, 2011 by Kirk Martin

“Just do what I say!” A Dad and daughter connect for the first time.

I just got this message from a Dad who’s been battling with his daughter “since she was born,” as he likes to say. She is very strong-willed and he’s spent the past 11 years engaging in power struggles. He and his wife said they finally had enough of it and were willing to be honest… Continue Reading ›

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Posted on June 29, 2011 by Kirk Martin

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