Celebrate Calm

Stop Defiance, Disrespect & Yelling

The prescription for anxiety

What’s more fun? Rushing around snapping at people or being relaxed and productive? Many of you know our three-step prescription for anxiety. Guess what? It works for adults as well! Tomorrow, we are filming a conference titled, “IEPs from A-Z” in the nation’s capital. This always creates a great deal of anxiety. There are so many unknowns and things beyond our control. The one thing we can control is the content–I didn’t create it all so I can say in an unbiased way that it is, without a doubt, the most comprehensive, practical program on the planet. I can’t wait to share the strategies. BUT that gets overshadowed by the …..

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An amazing communication insight

In today’s newsletter, I shared a very small…but very powerful communication insight. It’s something that most of us get wrong on a consistent basis. And we end up with negotiations and fights…instead of trust and kids who listen. Do you get the newsletter? If not, click here to subscribe to our free newsletter. Read it and come comment here.

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Want a great way to stop sibling arguments?

Does anything irritate you more than your kids arguing? In today’s newsletter, we share the specific words and actions you can take to end these arguments. Sign up for the free newsletter here, read the newsletter and then come back here to share your comments and questions. It’s that easy.

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The most important gift for a teacher

The most important gift for your child’s teacher is insight into your child. Create a one-page sheet (please don’t take in 15 pages of evaluations and test results!) that lists: Your child’s gifts and talents. Give teachers concrete suggestions for connecting with your child and showing off their talents. After defining your child by his gifts (important), then list your child’s struggles, but don’t stop there. Explain specific ways you have dealt with these struggles or quirks in the past. “My son struggles with focus, but in the past teachers have allowed him to do x, y and z to improve attention.” You want to be a collaborator who solves …..

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What is the purpose of discipline?

Listen to our latest Radio Show and discover the answer to this and 10 great questions: What to do when in-laws discipline your kids; the purpose of discipline (may surprise you!); how to get kids to rise to do their best; picky eaters (mac and cheese/chicken nuggets anyone?!); teenage girls and cell phones; bossy kids who correct others incorrectly; getting kids engaged in sports; how do you get other people to understand your child?; why many marriages stink. Click here to listen to Kirk. And remember to call Brett at 888-506-1871 if you need help with any of our resources.

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When family members judge you and your kids…Part I

Do you end up dreading family vacations or get-togethers because your parents or siblings judge you? Do you stay on edge worried that your kids are going to misbehave, break something or be too loud for your uptight family? Here are 5 ways to discipline your children; be respectful of relatives; and keep judgment, embarrassment and false expectations from stealing your peace. 1. Be honest and be confident. There’s no need to sugarcoat reality—you happen to have more intense, emotional kids. Good. They will rule the world one day. You’re not a bad parent because your kids are more brilliant, passionate and like to think outside the box. You’re just …..

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How do you handle conflict?

As long as you interact with people, you will experience conflict and bad news. It’s a given. We must be introspective again and understand how we deal with conflict. Because how we handle conflict will largely determine whether we have healthy relationships or not–with our children, spouse, siblings, parents, bosses, friends and ourselves. It is so critical that we discuss this in detail in each and every BootCamp–Calm, Marriage and Teen. You can’t ignore this. This is very personal, but I want to share it. When I was a kid, my parents fought almost continually. There would be huge blow-ups, intense yelling and even screaming. It was frightening. My brothers …..

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How do I get my kids to stop being so moody?

Q: How do I get my kids to stop being so moody? It just irritates the heck out of me. I try to give them games to play and engage, but then end up yelling. And it doesn’t do any good. So how do I get them to change their attitudes? A: I know how irritating it can be to be in the same room with a moody teenager …or 15 moody kids at a time. But allow me to challenge you with this question. What gives us the right to dictate another person’s emotions or moods? On days that you feel irritable, would you like your husband to tell …..

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“Cut it out!”

When your child is being annoying, it’s easy to bark, “Cut it out!” That just inflames the situation and tells the child, “I’m not interested in helping you. I just can’t deal with it right now.” Instead, sit down. Put your feet up. Take a deep breath. Control your own anxiety and seek to understand, “What’s really going on? How can I help?” Do you know why? Because that’s what you and I expect others to do for us when we are struggling. When you are upset, do you respond well when your spouse minimizes your feelings or snaps, “Just deal with it!”? Didn’t think so. Handling it the calm, …..

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When kids make threats…

What should I do when my daughter threatens to run away? How do we normally react as parents to such threats? Our anxiety and fear kicks in–and we immediately respond with our own threat–we spout whatever consequence comes to mind. That inflames the situation and makes the child want to run away more! If we create a power struggle, many kids will follow through just to make their point. So let’s rethink how we handle such situations. What is my goal? I want to use every single situation–especially the intense, emotional ones because these are memorable–to build trust and teach my daughter how to solve problems in a positive way. …..

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