Kirk and Casey will be sharing practical, concrete strategies to:

• Eliminate defiance, disrespect, and power struggles (even with teens).
• Stop sibling fights, tattling and “That’s not fair!”
• Break generational patterns of yelling, controlling and perfectionism.
• Get kids to take responsibility for their attitudes, choices and work.

Want a sneak peak? Click below.

17 Workshops in Tulsa & Oklahoma City, OK
Tuesday & Wednesday, May 1  & 2                 7 Workshops in Tulsa, OK
Tulsa, OK Homeschool Convention
SpiritBank Event Center /  10441 S. Regal Blvd. / Tulsa, OK

http://ochec.com/Categories.aspx?Id=Tulsa_Workshop_Schedule

Wednesday, May 2                                           7:00pm – 9:00pm    Tulsa, OK
First Presbyterian Church (Bersen Community Life Center) / 709 S. Boston /  Tulsa, OK 74119

Thursday, May 3                                           10:00am – 12:00pm (AM Event)    Tulsa, OK
First Presbyterian Church (Bersen Community Life Center) / 709 S. Boston /  Tulsa, OK 74119

Thursday, May 3                                         6:30pm – 8:30pm       Oklahoma City, OK
Memorial Road Church of Christ / 2221 East Memorial Rd. / Edmond, OK 73013

Friday & Saturday, May 4 & 5                    7 Workshops  in Oklahoma City, OK
Oklahoma City, OK Homeschool Convention
Cox Convention Center / One Myriad Gardens / Oklahoma City, OK

http://ochec.com/Categories.aspx?Id=OKC_Workshop_Schedule

8 Workshops in Indiana & Chicago
Tuesday, May 8                                   7:00pm – 9:00pm   Kokomo, IN
St. Patrick Catholic Church / 1229 North Washington Street / Kokomo, IN 46901

Wednesday, May 9                          9:30am – 11:30am (AM Event)    Kokomo, IN
St. Patrick Catholic Church / 1229 North Washington Street / Kokomo, IN 46901

Wednesday, May 9                          6:30pm – 8:30pm  Chicago, IL
Sayre Language Academy / 1850 North Newland Ave. / Chicago, IL 60707

Thursday, May 10                             7:00pm – 9:00pm   Chicago, IL
Jefferson Middle School / 1151 Plum Street /  Aurora, IL 60506

Thursday & Friday  May 10-11       Chicago Homeschool Convention
4 Free Workshops
Tinley Park Convention Center / 18451 Convention Center Drive / Tinley Park, IL 60477
More information can be found here:  http://www.chicagohomeschoolexpo.com/

8 Workshops in Nashville
Thursday, May 17                                   7:00pm – 9:00pm  
Christ the King Catholic Church / 3001 Belmont Blvd. / Nashville, TN 37212

Friday & Saturday  May 18-19        Nashville Homeschool Convention
7 Free Workshops over 2 days
Nashville Expo Center of the TN State Fairgrounds / 625 Smith Avenue / Nashville, TN 37203
All 7 Workshops will be in the Banquet Hall

3 Workshops in North Carolina
Thursday, May 24                                   10:00am – 12:00pm   (AM Event)
Lake Norman Baptist Church / 7921 Sam Furr Rd. / Huntersville, NC 27078

Thursday, May 24                                   6:30pm – 8:30pm  
Lake Norman Baptist Church / 7921 Sam Furr Rd. / Huntersville, NC 27078

Wednesday, May 30                               7:00pm – 9:00pm
Wrigtsboro United Methodist Church / 3300 North Kerr Ave. / Wilmington, NC 28405

All events are FREE and there is no need to register. Come out and bring a few friends!
Content will apply to toddlers, teens and everything in between. Feel free to bring kids.
Want to book Kirk & Casey at your school, church or synagogue? It’s easy. Call or email Brett.
888-506-1871. Brett@CelebrateCalm.com

(1) Are You At Your Wit’s End? Stop the Yelling & Power Struggles
Do you need help calming your explosive household? Tired of yelling at, negotiating with and bribing your child? Do you want your child to take responsibility for his school work, chores and attitude? It’s time to stop the yelling, arguing and power struggles with toddlers and teens. Moms, it’s not your job to manage everyone’s emotions and make everyone happy! We’ll show you how to create stress-free mornings, school, dinner and bedtime. We promise you will laugh and leave with a dozen practical strategies that really work.

(2)  10 Ways to Stop Defiance, Disrespect & Meltdowns
Nothing is more frustrating and embarrassing than a child being defiant or melting down in public. Have a little one who looks right through you and says, “No!”? Have a teenager who defies you or rolls his eyes? Have a child who refuses to go places? Kirk will show you how to stop a meltdown in public without losing it yourself! You will learn how to turn emotional power struggles into opportunities to build trust and teach self-discipline. You will be blown away by how practical these strategies are.

(3)  Stop Sibling Fights, Name Calling & Tattling
Does anything make your blood boil more than hearing your children be mean to each other? But none of your rational discussions make a difference. You feel like a bad parent, like you’ve done something wrong, embarrassed that your kids act like this. What happens when you have one child who takes all your energy and time? We’ll show you how to get your kids to share, stop tattling, and resolve conflict so you don’t have to be the sheriff. We’ll even show you an amazing way to deal with your kids complaining, “It’s not fair!”

(4)  “You’re Not the Boss of Me!”: Motivating Strong-Willed Toddlers & Teens
How do you motivate a child who looks right at you and doesn’t listen? What about a teenager who has shut down or defiant? Your child was born with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. Well-meaning people tell you to clamp down on and get control of your child. But you don’t want to crush his spirit or create more defiance. Instead of constantly creating power struggles, we’ll show you how to enjoy a respectful, motivated child who is confident, persistent and purposeful. Society needs our kids. And you can enjoy them. I’ll get my own strong-willed son, Casey, answering questions in this class. One of my favorites.

(5)  Discipline That Works, When Consequences & Time-Outs Don’t
Instead of being drawn into power struggles, yelling and giving meaningless consequences, Kirk will show you 10 ways to discipline with dignity so kids listen to, respect and trust you:

• Stop the whining, complaining and tantrums.
• Get kids to listen when they are loud in the backseat or interrupt on the phone.
• Teach kids to control their own behavior (self-discipline) so you don’t have to “make them” behave.
• Get kids off their video games without being asked (or pleading, “Hold on, I just need to save it, I just need to get to the next level!”).

(6) 10 Ways to Get the Respect & Authority You Want
What do Dads and Moms want most? Respect and authority. And yet most of us lose our authority because we “lose it” emotionally with our kids. How can they respect us when we don’t respect ourselves or can’t control our own emotions? Ouch. We throw our own tantrums and become dependent on our kids—we need them to behave…precisely because we can’t. Our pride drives our kids from us and we blame it on their behavior. God does not treat us the way we treat our kids. Kirk will show you how to get the respect you want—not through fear and intimidation—so you can break these generational patterns we learned from our parents. Must experience event.

(7)  Calm the Chaos: Rescue Your Relationships
Do you want to enjoy a close, intimate family that laughs together? Unfortunately, most of us are stressed, yell too much and withdraw from our spouses. Kirk will show you 10 powerful, practical ways to:
- Get control of your priorities so you are in charge. Don’t allow others to dictate your lifestyle.
- Overcome your anxiety, perfectionism, guilt, resentment and control issues so you can control yourself.
- Replace defiance, disrespect and challenging behavior with respectful children responsible for their chores, homework and attitudes. Enjoy your kids again.
- Connect emotionally, handle conflict and have difficult conversations with your spouse without feeling guilty or resentful.

(8) Kids & Parents: Destined to Fight? (*Parents & Kids Attend Together*)
Parents are encouraged to attend this unique workshop WITH their children. Kirk Martin and his teenage son, Casey, will use everyday situations (and humor!) to demonstrate how to:
• Discipline teens without creating power struggles.
• Have difficult conversations without parents “overreacting.”
• Create mutual respect and foster independence.
• Teach teens how to manage their own time, social media and schooling.
• Enjoy time together without emotional responses, disrespect and yelling.

How would next school year be different IF you could eliminate the toughest behavior issues, help students focus better and foster productive parent-teacher cooperation? What if students could take ownership of their own work?

We have helped 200,000 parents and teachers accomplish these goals with training that is practical, concrete and…enjoyable, even funny. Say NO to boring in-service training that only talks about theory–you need specific, concrete strategies that work in the toughest classroom and home situations.

Your PTA/PTO and Principal are planning your In-Service training now. Simply email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871 with the name of your school and city. We will send you a one-page proposal and sample flyer you can take right to your school. Plus, we are including a FREE parent workshop in the evening so everyone is on the same page. For more information, please click here.

Click here to watch a short preview of a Fairfax County, VA Teachers Workshop:

Click here to watch a preview of our Parents Workshop.

Email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871. Start the school year with parents, teachers and students on the same page.

Click here to listen to Kirk.

Changing A Generation of Family Dysfunction-Cool, huh?!
Kirk, I bought your CDs…and began listening. Slowly my life changed for the better. I found new techniques to gain strength after a long day. I would leave the CDs on so when my wife took my car, they would be playing. She began to listen, we talked about it, and guess what happened…our family’s life improved. We don’t fight before church or school, we don’t push our anxieties on to our children, and we take time to learn lessons, not punish. Thank you for your courage to show me how to change my life and my family’s life by getting out of a generation of family dysfunction.
JK

Lying isn’t the real issue–it’s a fig leaf to cover shame. Watch how this works. I’m a toddler or a teen. I don’t have much self-control so I impulsively do something wrong. Now I realize it was wrong, I am ashamed and fear my parents are going to be mad at me. What’s my first instinct? Lie! That’s why lecturing or punishing doesn’t work. But if you actively show your child how to control himself and create an environment where boldly saying, “I messed up!” is met with calm, you will stop the lying. Do you and your spouse know how to control your own anxiety, perfectionism and constant lecturing/yelling? Have you physically shown and practiced how to control impulses at the store and with annoying siblings? Can you listen, discipline, forgive and give meaningful consequences without freaking out?
(If you need personal mentoring to control your anxiety, join the Calm Challenge.)

So what do you do when your child proclaims, “I hate myself,” “I wish I hadn’t been born” or even “You’re stupid!”? Always discuss such statements with your child’s doctor or therapist, especially if you have a family history of depression, bipolar disorder, etc. In 99.9% of cases, what the child is really saying is this:

“I am so frustrated with myself. I keep messing up and that makes me stupid. My brother and sister don’t get in trouble like I do. I don’t even feel like I can control myself and I’m tired of always being yelled at and in trouble. I need some help! I need tools to change!”

Lectures, threats and punishment will not work. The real problem is the underlying lack of self-control and resulting shame that fuel such frightening statements. The child doesn’t hate himself or you–he hates messing up, getting yelled at and being in trouble. Try this next time.

1) Hear the screaming as a cry for help. Sit down. It’s calming.

2) Practice acknowledgement. “Jacob, I can understand why you would be so frustrated. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against you, doesn’t it?”

3) Listen. Let him talk and get the frustration, anger and pain out.

4) “Jacob, I can understand why you’d want to lie or scream like that. It makes sense to me. I have felt frustrated and angry before. Do you feel frustrated with yourself, like you wish you were a different person or could control yourself?”

5) Listen more. Yeah, this takes time. But it’s worth it.

6) Offer reassurance. “Here’s the deal, Jacob. I like who you are. I like your intensity. I like your imagination and ideas and energy. I like that you’re a hurricane sometimes. I want to use that energy in positive ways to that it’s creative and not destructive.”

7) Move to problem solving. “So what can we begin doing the next time you feel frustrated or angry?” Another great question: “What can *I* do next time you’re upset to help you calm down?”

Physically practice a new calming routine. What is it that calms your child? Coloring, listening to or playing music, jumping on a mini-trampoline, doing push-ups with Dad, doing a silly dance, playing with the dog? Make this your new routine.

9) Build your child’s self-confidence. Competence breeds confidence so make sure your child has opportunities to use his unique gifts and passions. Many kids feel bad about themselves because adults only focus on their weaknesses.

10) Teach your child self-control. Have you practiced self-control with your kids? Have you physically shown them how to practice impulse control? Do they know how to keep from blurting out in class, from whining for that candy at Target? As the Dad above wrote, it takes work to change a generation of family dysfunction and negative patterns. But once Mom and Dad can control their own anxiety, yelling, perfectionism, fear and lecturing…and once you teach your children how to control themselves, EVERYTHING begins to change. No lying, siblings learning how to handle conflict, fewer meltdowns, no more “I hate myself!”, etc.

Give your kids tools to change. Get the tools 40,000 other parents use daily to change. They are even on sale right now. And you can start a new family tree…free of the yelling, screaming and defiance.
Kirk

Love is messy, ugly and painful.
Today is Valentine’s Day. But love is not what the marketers tell us it is. Love is not flowers, chocolate and surprises. Love is not saying just the right thing. Love is not even doing the right thing. Love is not your children behaving well. Love is not having a wonderful day at the park. All of those things are lovely and nice, but they are not love. Love is not the romantic comedy where two star-crossed lovers find each other. The hard part, the love, is what happens six, nine, seventeen years later after the newness wears off.

Love is messy, love is dirty and sometimes ugly. Love is you staying present while your son is screaming that he hates you, but you persevere until you get to the root of the episode and discover he’s frustrated with himself. Love is when your teenager threatens to make your night miserable because you said “No”…and you don’t allow her mood to determine yours. You endure short-term pain because you want your daughter to know your home is a safe place with parents who aren’t afraid to disappoint their kids. Love is that difficult child who wasn’t the child you wanted, who you sometimes resent, but you keep believing.

Love is the couple taking the Calm Couples Challenge who are slowly rebuilding trust after an affair. Love is a husband willing to humble himself by admitting that he can run a business, but he has no idea how to have a relationship. Love is the alcoholic who admits he can perform surgery, but he cannot control his addiction. Love is the patient forbearance of a spouse who has been wronged, and has every right to exact revenge, but is working to rebuild trust with accountability.

To my friends whose faith is important, I caution you. Love is not a well-behaved child. Love is not the sterile portrait of a perfect family who hides its imperfection to please others. That is an illusion. Love is messy. Love is when a woman is dragged from bed while committing adultery, half-naked, drenched in shame…and a man writes in the dirt to preserve her dignity and disperses her accusers with one sentence. Love is when a prodigal son limps home, dirty outside and in, and is met not by a lecturing father looking to score points…but by a tear-filled father who runs and hugs him. Love is a servant on his knees washing his followers’ feet. Love is a prostitute given another chance. Love is what compels an innocent man to be whipped, beaten, spat upon and nailed to a tree. This is where love lives.

If you learn to embrace the imperfection in your daily life–that husband who means well but doesn’t always know the right thing to say, the overwhelmed wife who lacks self-respect because she’s always trying so hard to make everyone happy, the little boy with the huge mouth and heart to match, the teenager flailing away searching for himself and his independence–then you will discover that right in the middle of this mess is where love lives.

Yes, love is cleaning up your child’s vomit. Love is seeing the best in others even when they are mean to you. Love is having the self-respect to tell that abusive spouse you would rather be lonely than treated that way. Love doesn’t run, hide, ignore or hope the mess goes away. Love sees the imperfection and courageously faces it, forgives it, teaches it, works through it. I hope you find beauty in imperfection today.

Kirk

P.S. If you want help with the ugliest, dirtiest, most painful relationships…if you want help knocking down the walls you’ve built, untangling years of lies to yourself and others…if you want to really experience the love that is described above…this is a safe place. Take the Calm Challenge. Get the CDs for practical, real life help.

P.S.S. If you need help financially, you must be bold. Call or reply to this email and say, “I need help!” We respect those who seek and knock boldly.

Here are some of the responses we have received so far. In parenting sessions, I like to give voice to what your children are feeling inside, but don’t know how to say. Through the Calm Couples™ Challenge and mentoring, I am going to give voice to the true feelings inside men and women. What do you want your spouse to know? Do any of these resonate?

What do you want your spouse to know about how you feel now?
I am scared because I don’t even like you or know you now.
I can’t trust you right now.
I have a lot of pain inside I need to work through.
I am mad at myself for letting things get this way.
I am angry at myself for being a weak person and letting you do this to me.
When I am with you, I can’t be myself. I shut down.
I wish you wouldn’t assume the worst about me. I AM trying.
I have so much anxiety and guilt. I feel trapped.
I need help. I cannot do this alone. I don’t want to do this alone.
I feel like your drinking/video games are more important than me.
I wish you would choose your family over your addiction.
I really want to be your husband and for you to be my wife, not just the mother of our kids.
I miss having a friend to share life with.
We’re just going through the motions. My eyes and mind are beginning to wander and that scares me.

Do any of these situations describe yours?
- Your husband hasn’t been engaged emotionally. You didn’t want to rock the boat so you didn’t say anything. He thought things were okay. Now you are fighting resentment and don’t have the emotional energy to even try.

- One spouse has announced their intention to separate or divorce. Is there a way to repair this, even though the grass looks greener?

- You have had the thought, “I wish something would happen to my spouse–not to be mean or anything–but if they were just gone, I could move on.”

- You don’t even know how to talk about anything meaningful. You make small talk to keep the kids and house moving along, but you can’t ever bring anything up.

- You don’t know how to handle conflict of any kind. So you don’t say anything or your spouse runs away. Or maybe one spouse tries to control everything so the issues go away.

- Trust has been broken because of infidelity or secret addictions. Forgiveness isn’t enough—can you rebuild the trust? Do you even want to?

What’s the common theme here? These are relationships in crisis. Something needs to change soon. I have been overwhelmed with emails lately asking for help with the above situations. I’m going to help you with a 40-Day Challenge to:

- Give you clarity about what the REAL issues are. And no, they probably aren’t what YOU THINK they are.

- Demonstrate with specific words and actions how to handle conflict, how to have difficult conversations (without it blowing up), how to connect, how to handle everything you are struggling with. It can be with a spouse, teenager or toddler.

- Put into words what you have wanted to tell your spouse, but haven’t been able to. It’s human nature. I won’t listen if my wife says it–but if someone who makes sense says it, it hits home. I will help you give voice to what you’ve wanted to say as a hurt or misunderstood spouse.

- Develop a very specific game plan to move forward. I don’t want to just give you perspective and hope; I want you to give you clear, doable action steps to make progress. We will accomplish this through a 40-day, intensive, online Relationship Rescue Challenge. You will receive a new message every day to reinforce what we discusses and practice making small steps.

I can give you fifteen excuses why you shouldn’t do this. But here’s why you should.
- I have been in your shoes. Staring divorce and a broken relationship right in the eyes. I’ve experienced the dread, the pain, the loneliness, the fear, the anger, the shame. This is the hardest thing you have ever done.

- Half of the problem is you. Not your spouse. Not your child. You can run, you can move on with your life when this person is gone. But then you will look in the mirror and find the problem staring back at you. And you’ll end up repeating the same patterns in your next relationship.

- This requires an investment. I don’t want people treating this as an optional or nice little thing to do. This is hard. This is critical. You know what’s even more expensive? Getting a divorce. Paying attorneys. Splitting property. And that’s not even the greatest cost. But I know some husbands are going to use this as an excuse. You don’t have to use this program, but you better get help somewhere.

- It’s embarrassing to admit you need help. Good. This process is going to require a tremendous amount of humility and honesty. Having the courage to say, “We need some help” is an extraordinary first step. Besides, you’re going to going through this with other good people who also give a darn about their relationships. I’d rather be in this position than suffering in silence, alone, about to lose everything meaningful.

- You can rationalize putting it off. “Oh, maybe it will get better.” “We don’t have time right now, Let’s just get the kids off to college and then we’ll do it.” You know you are lying to yourself. Want to give your kids a gift? Let them see your lives transformed before them.

- I want you to show self-respect. For some of you, this is the underlying issue. You don’t think you deserve or are worthy of a good relationship with a man who treats you with respect. So you settle. Or you suffer in silence. Don’t.

Registration
My regular fees for consultations are $250 per hour. You will get 40 days of mentoring–plus special messages each week answering your questions–via email.

Begin the New Year with a new you, a new marriage.

If you need payment plans or have any questions, call Brett at 888-506-1871. He is the friendliest person on the planet and can answer all of your questions.

What can you expect?
I am going to speak in very specific, blunt terms so we can get every issue out on the table. There will be great clarity.

You may participate alone if your spouse will not.

Some will say, “This is just B.S. I’m not wasting my time and money on this.” No skin off my back, but those are the words of an immature man. You don’t have to participate in this program, but do get some help. Work is easy-—relationships are scary and the most difficult thing we’ll ever do.

Dear Casey,
I’m not interested in whether you’ve been “bad or good” this year. I want you to know that I am proud of you. In honor of your 17th birthday, here are 17 things that make you unique and tell me you’ve got a great future ahead of you. I saw you:

1. Give up your Friday nights to go feed homeless people that others forget.
2. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them.
3. Start singing out loud while playing guitar, which takes a lot of guts.
4. Humble yourself and apologize when you’ve messed up.
5. Treat girls with respect.
6. Push people’s buttons. It tells me you get what makes people tick. And I’ve seen you use that skill to help people…and know that must feel good inside.
7. Stick up for your friends even when it means other kids harass you.
8. Persevere and speak to students because you want to help them–even though it makes you feel sick to your stomach and lose sleep.
9. Write down your goals and stop making excuses.
10. Work really hard to become amazing at video games. I know you’ll use that persistence, creativity and problem-solving to do something great in life.
11. Do boring, pain-in-the-butt chores for your Mom and Dad, even though I know you’d rather be doing something else.
12. Go out of your way to help our neighbors during a rainstorm when no one was
    watching. But someone did see you. Good job, son.
13. Be mischievous, not follow the rules and accept the consequences. It means you are human, can think for yourself and weigh consequences. I like that.
14. Say, “No” when kids try to get you to do something you don’t want to do. That tells me you respect yourself and have confidence.
15. Solve quadratic equations and learn periodic tables you’ll never use in life. You even showed your work…even when “It’s stupid, duh!”
16. Get giddy when a Ferrari blasts past or a band plays your favorite song. Don’t
    ever lose that passion and childlike excitement.
17. Grow from a teenager into a man.   

I am proud of you, Casey. You continue to be the best Christmas gift your Mom and I could ever ask for.
–Dad    
Moms and Dads, do this for your kids (and spouse). Toys break and are forgotten. Your kids will never, ever forget this gift. They will keep this note and read it over and over again, especially when they have a rough day. It takes time, but it will change your Hanukkah or Christmas. If you need help motivating your child, lecturing and taking away stuff will make it worse and create more defiance. Don’t give up! On New Year’s Day, we will begin showing you step-by-step how to motivate event the most challenging children through the Motivating Teens 40-Day Challenge.

If you need practical, concrete strategies to stop the yelling, defiance and meltdowns with kids of all ages, then be bold. Call Brett at 888-506-1871 or email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com. He can help you find the perfect tools that fit your budget and needs.

Keep enjoying your kids. Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!