Sample Audio Clips:
From Stop Defiance & Disrespect
From Straight Talk for Dads
Get a step-by-step guide to eliminating defiance and turning meltdowns and tantrums into opportunities to build a deeper relationship with your child. Discover 15 specific ways to turn intense, emotional moments into opportunities to:
This offer also includes a bonus CD: Straight Talk for Dads and two CD workbooks. Dads, learn 10 specific ways to use the tremendous power you have as a dad to foster respectful children, enjoy the relationship you’ve always wanted with your kids, and be the dad you want to be.
If you could stop your kids from talking back or melting down, what would that be worth?! Ships ASAP.
*We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover and PayPal.
Call us at 888-506-1871 or Brett@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.
When kids bicker, hit, and whine, it makes you want to pull your hair out. What do you do when your kids say, “That’s not fair” or “He’s looking at me!”?What do you do when an older child picks on the younger one, or vice versa? How do you get teens to play with younger siblings?
What do you do when your kids get physical and hit each other? How do you get kids to share without causing resentment? How do you survive summer, stop bullying, and manage fights between kids when one has special needs?
What is my ultimate purpose? I want to teach kids how to control their own behavior and handle conflict in healthy ways. Much of life consists of handling difficult situation with other human beings. Many of us as adults cannot have difficult discussions with our spouses or grown parents—this results in unhealthy relationships and pain. I want to break that cycle in the next generation. I want kids with self-discipline who know how to handle difficult relationship issues.
Q: My sons treat each other terribly, particularly my older son treating his younger brother with contempt and getting angry with him constantly.
Q: My 12-year-old twin girls have all the answers and anything I say is just stupid. They all believe that they are the most important and that if I’m not siding with them, that the other is my favorite.
Q: How do we survive summer when the kids get restless?
Q: My 3-year-old son is so jealous when my husband holds our 8-month-old baby. He’ll act like a baby.
Q: Younger brother thinks it’s funny to instigate and bug older brother. Then when his brother plays along and it goes “too far,” younger son gets all upset.
Q: My son speaks rudely to and tears down his sister. He’s rude, mean and condescending.
Q: What do you do when kids bicker, tease and tattle on each other?
Q: What do I do when my kids don’t obey right away, but then “forget” what I asked them to do.
Q: Car rides are a NIGHTMARE!
Q: My 8 yr old is a people magnet and friends and cousins all play with her as she is easy going. This makes the 10 year old feel badly and act out.
Q: How do we respond when older son (11) physically hurts the younger son (7)? He just can’t control himself.
Q: One minute my kids are best friends and the next minute someone’s hurt, then back to best friends. What can I do?
Q: How do I get my older son to play with his younger brother? The younger brother picks at his older brother to get attention.
Q: What do you do when kids are physically beating on each other, or it starts off playfully and then someone gets hurt?
Q: How do we stop the fighting between teens who share a room?
Q: My daughter (8) constantly picks at her brother (3). For instance, yesterday he saw a dump truck and was excited, she responded with “nobody cares about dump trucks!” Related: my son always has to be #1 and can’t be gracious with his brother.
Q: Our oldest son is always pestering or wanting to hug our younger son. Sometimes younger son doesn’t mind…other times he screams like he’s being killed.
Q: What do you do when two neighborhood kids lie about your daughter on the bus and get her in trouble at school?
Q: How do I get my 13-year-old with Aspergers to stop fighting with his three-year-old sibling?
Q: Related question. What tips can you give for helping the child who is a sibling to a special needs child and feels like things are controlled by or all about the child with special needs?
Q: My kids argue over who is doing chores, who gets the iPad, computer or phone. If I try to assign chores, they fight over who does what, who is doing more work, whose job is harder….ugh!! If there was nothing to fight about, they would probably argue over whether the sky is blue!!
Q: My 6-year-old picks on his brother (9) constantly. He lies a lot, has temper tantrums and storms out of the room screaming. My oldest doesn’t fight back, he wants to keep things calm for everyone.
Q: My almost 11-yr-old blames his siblings for everything.
Q: I have a boy (10) with high functioning autism and a 7-year-old girl. They both have sensory issues that conflict. I know they are frustrated with each other but the “I hate you” and meanness pushes me over the edge.
Q: How do I handle bullying at school?
Q: I have 13 and 14 year old girls. The older wants her privacy while the younger wants to be with her all the time.
Q: Kids are playing outside and something happens. They come running in with five different stories or versions.
If you could stop your kids from that nasty cycle of provoking and reacting, what would that be worth?! In the moment, you’d probably pay $97 just for peace and quiet one afternoon. Stop Sibling Fights will ship by May 31st so you are ready for summer with siblings!
*We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover and PayPal.
Call us at 888-506-1871 or Brett@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.
How would next school year be different IF you could eliminate the toughest behavior issues, help students focus better and foster productive parent-teacher cooperation? What if students could take ownership of their own work?
We have helped 200,000 parents and teachers accomplish these goals with training that is practical, concrete and…enjoyable, even funny. Say NO to boring in-service training that only talks about theory–you need specific, concrete strategies that work in the toughest classroom and home situations.
Your PTA/PTO and Principal are planning your In-Service training now. Simply email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871 with the name of your school and city. We will send you a one-page proposal and sample flyer you can take right to your school. Plus, we are including a FREE parent workshop in the evening so everyone is on the same page. For more information, please click here.
Click here to watch a short preview of a Fairfax County, VA Teachers Workshop:
Click here to watch a preview of our Parents Workshop.
Email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871. Start the school year with parents, teachers and students on the same page.
I promised myself I wouldn’t offer platitudes to hurting people–that Celebrate Calm would be a place where we could tackle the ugliest situations with honesty and humility. People are hurting today and sometimes the flowers and gifts make the pain more acute, because the disparity between what could have been and reality becomes starkly vivid. If you find the below message helpful, please share it with others. Feel free to comment here or on our Facebook Page.
Love is messy, ugly and painful.
Today is Valentine’s Day. But love is not what the marketers tell us it is. Love is not flowers, chocolate and surprises. Love is not saying just the right thing. Love is not even doing the right thing. Love is not your children behaving well. Love is not having a wonderful day at the park. All of those things are lovely and nice, but they are not love. Love is not the romantic comedy where two star-crossed lovers find each other. The hard part, the love, is what happens six, nine, seventeen years later after the newness wears off.
Love is messy, love is dirty and sometimes ugly. Love is you staying present while your son is screaming that he hates you, but you persevere until you get to the root of the episode and discover he’s frustrated with himself. Love is when your teenager threatens to make your night miserable because you said “No”…and you don’t allow her mood to determine yours. You endure short-term pain because you want your daughter to know your home is a safe place with parents who aren’t afraid to disappoint their kids. Love is that difficult child who wasn’t the child you wanted, who you sometimes resent, but you keep believing.
Love is the couple taking the Calm Couples Challenge who are slowly rebuilding trust after an affair. Love is a husband willing to humble himself by admitting that he can run a business, but he has no idea how to have a relationship. Love is the alcoholic who admits he can perform surgery, but he cannot control his addiction. Love is the patient forbearance of a spouse who has been wronged, and has every right to exact revenge, but is working to rebuild trust with accountability.
To my friends whose faith is important, I caution you. Love is not a well-behaved child. Love is not the sterile portrait of a perfect family who hides its imperfection to please others. That is an illusion. Love is messy. Love is when a woman is dragged from bed while committing adultery, half-naked, drenched in shame…and a man writes in the dirt to preserve her dignity and disperses her accusers with one sentence. Love is when a prodigal son limps home, dirty outside and in, and is met not by a lecturing father looking to score points…but by a tear-filled father who runs and hugs him. Love is a servant on his knees washing his followers’ feet. Love is a prostitute given another chance. Love is what compels an innocent man to be whipped, beaten, spat upon and nailed to a tree. This is where love lives.
If you learn to embrace the imperfection in your daily life–that husband who means well but doesn’t always know the right thing to say, the overwhelmed wife who lacks self-respect because she’s always trying so hard to make everyone happy, the little boy with the huge mouth and heart to match, the teenager flailing away searching for himself and his independence–then you will discover that right in the middle of this mess is where love lives.
Yes, love is cleaning up your child’s vomit. Love is seeing the best in others even when they are mean to you. Love is having the self-respect to tell that abusive spouse you would rather be lonely than treated that way. Love doesn’t run, hide, ignore or hope the mess goes away. Love sees the imperfection and courageously faces it, forgives it, teaches it, works through it. I hope you find beauty in imperfection today.
P.S. If you want help with the ugliest, dirtiest, most painful relationships…if you want help knocking down the walls you’ve built, untangling years of lies to yourself and others…if you want to really experience the love that is described above…this is a safe place. Take the Calm Challenge. Get the CDs for practical, real life help.
P.S.S. If you need help financially, you must be bold. Call or reply to this email and say, “I need help!” We respect those who seek and knock boldly.
Need help with an unmotivated child? Want to give a gift that lasts forever?
Do you think your challenging child (or spouse!) would remember a gift like the letter below? Can you bring yourself to write something like this? It can change lives. And it’s a great tradition for Hanukkah, Christmas or New Year’s Day.
I’m not interested in whether you’ve been “bad or good” this year. I want you to know that I am proud of you. In honor of your 17th birthday, here are 17 things that make you unique and tell me you’ve got a great future ahead of you. I saw you:
I am proud of you, Casey. You continue to be the best Christmas gift your Mom and I could ever ask for.
Moms and Dads, do this for your kids (and spouse). Toys break and are forgotten. Your kids will never, ever forget this gift. They will keep this note and read it over and over again, especially when they have a rough day. It takes time, but it will change your Hanukkah or Christmas. If you need help motivating your child, lecturing and taking away stuff will make it worse and create more defiance. Don’t give up! On New Year’s Day, we will begin showing you step-by-step how to motivate event the most challenging children through the Motivating Teens 40-Day Challenge.
If you need practical, concrete strategies to stop the yelling, defiance and meltdowns with kids of all ages, then be bold. Call Brett at 888-506-1871 or email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com. He can help you find the perfect tools that fit your budget and needs.
Keep enjoying your kids. Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!
(Note: Our spring conference filled more quickly than we thought. You can participate from the convenience of your own home now.)
There is a quiet epidemic plaguing women in our society. It is simmering under the surface, filled with pain, despair and quiet desperation. Even resentment and anger. An entire generation of mothers has been lied to. You were told that you should subjugate your individuality, gifts and passions to the wholehearted pursuit of being a mother and wife. You are part of an anxious, overprotective culture that is consumed with children. And it’s destructive. Yes, being a mother and wife is a high calling. But you should not lose your self as a parent or spouse.
– I don’t feel like I have an identity anymore apart from my role as a mother and/or wife.
– I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize who I am anymore. I am not this anxious, yelling person my kids hear everyday.
– I feel so lost I don’t even know what my gifts, talents and passions are anymore.
– When I was young, I had a dream. But my parents didn’t approve so I did what I thought would make THEM happy.
– I am angry at myself for being so weak and allowing this to happen to me.
– I don’t know what I’d do with a few minutes of free time if I wasn’t managing everyone and everything. This is my identity now.
– I don’t like to ask my husband for help with the kids, house or anything because he works so hard.
– I apologize when I ask someone for help because I feel like I am an imposition.
– I realize now after reading this that I have little self-respect or confidence. This is disturbing to me.
– I am a “caretaker” for everyone in my life. I’m always helping others. Even my “friends” never really ask about me–they are always taking from me.
– I wish you knew the younger me. I was fun, confident and filled with all kinds of dreams. Now I just feel numb.
– I would rather at least feel used and needed than be alone with my thoughts. I don’t even know what I want.
– I am scared because I have no clue how to climb out of this.
Unfortunately, most women will suffer in silence. Maybe you have been too beaten down and depleted, or you don’t value yourself enough. But I implore you to take a stand. For yourself. And as a gift to your kids and spouse. Break this caretaker pattern that robs you of joy, self-respect and confidence. Good intentions are worthless. In order to get a breakthrough, you must take bold action. You are worth it.
1) Learn how to respect yourself, recognize your intrinsic value and see your worth apart from anyone else or any role.
2) Identify your specific gifts, talents and passions that make you a healthy, confident individual.
3) Take proactive, affirming steps to break these negative patterns and replace them with positive, action steps.
4) Learn how to be the confident, assertive, joyful woman who knows what you want.
5) Connect with other women who can understand and encourage you.
(1) Participate in the 40-Day Confident Woman Challenge. We have all spent years creating bad habits and thought patterns. So we are going to actively mentor you, every single day, for 40 days…so that you can break generational patterns and create new habits. You will receive a message everyday by email with a specific action for you to take that day. We will prompt you to think differently about yourself and begin taking new action steps to demonstrate self-respect and confidence. Our next Calm Challenge class begins March 1, 2012. Spring is a great time to blossom in new areas.
(2) Connect with other women who can encourage you. We have created a special, private Facebook Community page so that you will be able to connect with other women before and after the Challenge. You’ll be able to discover new friends who share your interests, passions or struggles…and then stay in touch afterward. We want you making some lifelong friends who know the real you, who know you as an individual and not just as “Sarah’s Mom” or “John’s wife.”
This is not about becoming a better Mom or better wife. It’s about you becoming fully you, becoming confident and learning self-respect. You’ve invested your blood, sweat and tears in helping your children and spouse find their passions–it’s time to discover yours.
Scared. Who is this new person I’m going to become? What if my spouse or my kids–or even my own Mom and Dad–don’t recognize, approve of or like this new person? You may feel like you’re not worth this. “I just need to be grateful for all I have and stop expecting something different. This is just my fate.” That’s a lie and an excuse. You may feel afraid to be assertive, that your husband will minimize or dismiss this–“Why would you need that? You’re taken care of and have a great life.” Fight through that fear.
Take the Confident Woman Challenge
We are offering a 50% discount to the first 50 women who register for the Confident Woman Challenge that kicks off on March 1, 2012. The next Challenge will be in the summer. Register early and receive a significant discount.
Please contact Brett at 888-506-1871 or Brett@CelebrateCalm.com if you have questions or need an extended payment plan. We help everyone.
Take the Confident Woman Challenge–50% off for $297
I am ready to:
Please email or call us at 888-506-1871 if you have questions or need an extended payment plan.
Ugh. I know you don’t even want to deal with this now because you are exhausted, but you must. It only gets more difficult the longer you wait. It isn’t going away.
Do any of these situations describe yours?
– Your husband hasn’t been engaged emotionally. You didn’t want to rock the boat so you didn’t say anything. He thought things were okay. Now you are fighting resentment and don’t have the emotional energy to even try.
– One spouse has announced their intention to separate or divorce. Is there a way to repair this, even though the grass looks greener?
– You have had the thought, “I wish something would happen to my spouse–not to be mean or anything–but if they were just gone, I could move on.”
– You don’t even know how to talk about anything meaningful. You make small talk to keep the kids and house moving along, but you can’t ever bring anything up.
– You don’t know how to handle conflict of any kind. So you don’t say anything or your spouse runs away. Or maybe one spouse tries to control everything so the issues go away.
– Trust has been broken because of infidelity or secret addictions. Forgiveness isn’t enough—can you rebuild the trust? Do you even want to?
What’s the common theme here? These are relationships in crisis. Something needs to change soon. I have been overwhelmed with emails lately asking for help with the above situations. I’m going to help you with a 40-Day Challenge to:
– Give you clarity about what the REAL issues are. And no, they probably aren’t what YOU THINK they are.
– Demonstrate with specific words and actions how to handle conflict, how to have difficult conversations (without it blowing up), how to connect, how to handle everything you are struggling with. It can be with a spouse, teenager or toddler.
– Put into words what you have wanted to tell your spouse, but haven’t been able to. It’s human nature. I won’t listen if my wife says it–but if someone who makes sense says it, it hits home. I will help you give voice to what you’ve wanted to say as a hurt or misunderstood spouse.
– Develop a very specific game plan to move forward. I don’t want to just give you perspective and hope; I want you to give you clear, doable action steps to make progress. We will accomplish this through a 40-day, intensive, online Relationship Rescue Challenge. You will receive a new message every day to reinforce what we discusses and practice making small steps.
I can give you fifteen excuses why you shouldn’t do this. But here’s why you should.
– I have been in your shoes. Staring divorce and a broken relationship right in the eyes. I’ve experienced the dread, the pain, the loneliness, the fear, the anger, the shame. This is the hardest thing you have ever done.
– Half of the problem is you. Not your spouse. Not your child. You can run, you can move on with your life when this person is gone. But then you will look in the mirror and find the problem staring back at you. And you’ll end up repeating the same patterns in your next relationship.
– This requires an investment. I don’t want people treating this as an optional or nice little thing to do. This is hard. This is critical. You know what’s even more expensive? Getting a divorce. Paying attorneys. Splitting property. And that’s not even the greatest cost. But I know some husbands are going to use this as an excuse. You don’t have to use this program, but you better get help somewhere.
– It’s embarrassing to admit you need help. Good. This process is going to require a tremendous amount of humility and honesty. Having the courage to say, “We need some help” is an extraordinary first step. Besides, you’re going to going through this with other good people who also give a darn about their relationships. I’d rather be in this position than suffering in silence, alone, about to lose everything meaningful.
– You can rationalize putting it off. “Oh, maybe it will get better.” “We don’t have time right now, Let’s just get the kids off to college and then we’ll do it.” You know you are lying to yourself. Want to give your kids a gift? Let them see your lives transformed before them.
– I want you to show self-respect. For some of you, this is the underlying issue. You don’t think you deserve or are worthy of a good relationship with a man who treats you with respect. So you settle. Or you suffer in silence. Don’t.
My regular fees for consultations are $250 per hour. You will get 40 days of mentoring–plus special messages each week answering your questions–via email.
Register for Calm Couples Marriage Challenge: 40 Days of Practical Strategies for $497 per family.
This includes participation by both spouses. You can practice the new skills right in your home.
Begin the New Year with a new you, a new marriage.
If you need payment plans or have any questions, call Brett at 888-506-1871. He is the friendliest person on the planet and can answer all of your questions.
What can you expect?
I am going to speak in very specific, blunt terms so we can get every issue out on the table. There will be great clarity.
You may participate alone if your spouse will not.
Some will say, “This is just B.S. I’m not wasting my time and money on this.” No skin off my back, but those are the words of an immature man. You don’t have to participate in this program, but do get some help. Work is easy-—relationships are scary and the most difficult thing we’ll ever do.
I refuse to allow others to determine my mood, attitude and actions. If a person or circumstance causes me to react, they have power over me. I refuse to give power over my joy and peace to my kids’ behavior, my spouse’s reaction, what others think, traffic, finances, co-workers. I control one thing in life: myself. That makes me very powerful. Instead of letting my daughter irritate me, I sit and tell her one reason she has an amazing future. When I am rushing in the store, I allow a person to go in front of me at the checkout. When my boss is a jerk, I am grateful I have a job…and begin looking for new opportunities!. Are you ready to take back power over your emotions and life this week? (Click SHARE below to help other parents.)
Today, I admit that *I* am responsible for my own happiness. If I don’t care enough about myself to take care of myself, to do something for myself, then no one else will care about me. Respect comes from self-respect. Because I respect my emotional, physical and spiritual health, I will take ONE action today to show that my health is a priority. I will exercise, eat healthy, enjoy 15 minutes of quiet time, listen to music, meditate on peaceful thoughts, pray, sing, read for 30 minutes, go to sleep early, leave a chore undone, laugh, call an old friend, reconnect with one of my gifts and passions, visit an elderly neighbor to sit and talk.
What are YOU going to do today?
What do you wish you could say without your spouse becoming defensive, so that he/she understood you? This is the process we’re going through with couples as we prepare for the Calm Couples™ Marriage Challenge. I would like your feedback. Do not reply on Facebook! Post below this blog using a fake name so you can remain anonymous.
Here are some of the responses we have received so far. In parenting sessions, I like to give voice to what your children are feeling inside, but don’t know how to say. Through the Calm Couples™ Challenge and mentoring, I am going to give voice to the true feelings inside men and women. What do you want your spouse to know? Do any of these resonate?
What do you want your spouse to know about how you feel now?
You can read more helpful marriage posts here or click here to learn about the Calm Couples Marriage Challenge. This is real life. Don’t let anything stand in your way of making the changes you deserve. We can help financially. You just have to ask. Email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call 888-506-1871.What do you want YOUR spouse to know about how you feel inside?