Take the 40-Day Calm Challenge.
Start immediately! 50% OFF. Limited Time Only.
The 40-Day Challenges includes:
1) 40 days of insight and assignments contained in a PDF document. The assignments are bite-sized and thought-provoking messages that spur discussion and action. You can work on these assignments and strategies by yourself or with your spouse. Kirk provides specific actions steps to transform yourself from the inside out…and transform your relationships.
2) Written and recorded answers to over 100 of the toughest questions. Kirk provides written, detailed answers to 100+ questions (Click the tab above to view the questions). Put these answers in a binder so you can refer to them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It’s your library of wisdom for the toughest situations you face.
3) Bonus Q&A you can listen to online. Kirk recorded a 70 minute message filled with specific actions and words you can take to deal with sticky parenting issues. You can listen as many times as you want. Download it into your iPod, iPhone or iPad.
These are the strategies Kirk used to transform himself from a worrying, anxiety-ridden, Type-A screamer into the leader of this movement; to transform the relationship with his son that he almost destroyed; and transform a marriage that was this close to ruin. You will receive:
- A PDF containing 40 daily assignments.
- A 50+ page PDF with answers to over 100 questions.
- Links to listen to a 70-minute Q&A with Kirk (perhaps the most popular recording we’ve ever done).
Once you make these changes, they last a lifetime. You have the opportunity to break generational patterns for good…so that your kids don’t grow up with the same issues plaguing them.
CHOOSE FROM 3 CHALLENGES
Reg. $497… Order NOW for Only $297 – 50% OFF. Limited Time Only.
The fee includes participation by you, your spouse, grandparents, other caregivers and even your kids when appropriate. It’s the cost of a two visits to a therapist, but we give you virtually unlimited hours, days and weeks of ongoing help and specific strategies. Do this for YOU.
Please email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call us at 888-506-1871 if you have questions or need an extended payment plan.
*We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover. If you choose a two payment option, the 2nd payment will process automatically in 30 days.
Calm ChallengeAre you overburdened trying to manage your kids’ and spouse’s happiness and emotions? Do you feel resentful because you do everything? Guilty when you don’t? Does it hurt when you constantly get on your kids…when it’s really about your own anxiety? Does perfectionism control you sometimes? Tired of losing it, letting kids push your buttons? You’ve tried on your own to just relax, but you’ve never gotten to the root of your anxiety. And you end up falling back into the old traps, which creates a vicious cycle of guilt and hopelessness. We’ll show you how to handle the most difficult situations, get on the same page with your spouse, set proper expectations. This is about and for YOU. You have probably neglected your own needs for far too long, trying to please everyone else–without taking care of yourself. This only leaves you resentful and depleted emotionally. It’s time to change these habits.
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Calm Challenge for Single Moms, Blended Families & Step ParentsModern families face unique challenges. - How do you deal with that ex-spouse who sabotages your efforts? The one who plays the kids against you, who wants to be the fun one with no rules? The one who refuses to come to doctor’s appointments or teacher’s conferences? - When is it appropriate for stepdad/stepmom to discipline the stepkids? What are proper boundaries? - How do you handle kids who are angry about the divorce or refuse to respect the new parents? - How do you integrate blended families to create NEW family traditions while keeping some old family traditions?
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Motivating Tough Teens ChallengeBy the time your child is a teenager, you are exhausted. You’ve likely battled for more than a decade. You have scars. So do your teenagers. Just being in the same room sometime prompts a fight. Dinners are tense. When I ask you to list their gifts and strengths, all you can say is they like to talk back, play video games and sit around. You feel like time is running out. Their peers are getting ready for college. Your child? If he would just apply himself, he could live up to his potential. So you get on him, lecture him…and drive him further away. Some teens get involved in drugs; some choose apathy. How can a child with such promise turn out like this? Where did it go wrong? Most importantly, we are going to answer these two questions: how can we re-establish that connection we want so badly? And how can we help even the most challenging teenagers become successful? We will give you specific, concrete steps to make this happen. So don’t give up yet!
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Please email Brett@CelebrateCalm.com or call us at 888-506-1871 if you have questions or need an extended payment plan. Because we only allow a small number of families per Challenge, there are no refunds.
What You Can Expect from the Calm Challenge
This is a pretty intensive process for a purpose. It is not to overwhelm, but to immerse you daily in developing new thought and behavior patterns. Because this is a self-paced process now, however, you can work the Challenge into your busy schedule. Go as fast or slow as you wish.
Set aside at least 15-30 minutes each day (or as often as you wish) to reflect and take concrete action steps toward transformation. Make the time. It’s part of the entire process–taking back control of our time, family life and inner life. The more time you put into this, the greater the transformation.
Read and listen to the Q&A first. You will get answers to over 100 of the most difficult situations you’ll experience. It provides a good foundation for going through the 40-Day Challenge.
Certain messages will be more relevant to you the first time you read them. On subsequent reviews of the messages, you will continually go deeper and deeper.
I ask you to trust the process. We are NOT going to be digging into specific issues with our kids at first. That will come later. Men, I know you will want to roll your eyes when you see certain topics, but every message has a purpose. Let the process work. Be open to it. Be brutally honest with yourself. I found upon reviewing this myself recently–after having created this content over 18 months ago–that it continues to challenge me in new ways.
100+ Questions We Answer in the Calm Challenge
Following are over 100 personal questions, issues and triggers we address in detail during our Calm Challenge. We get very deep and specific.
When my kids lie.
Nothing is ever good enough for my spouse.
How do we develop reward systems that actually work?
When my kids whine-especially when they repeatedly ask for things I’ve said no to, like more dessert, more screen time—things that are privilege—they sound so spoiled when they do this.
My spouse is always fussing at someone or everyone.
I feel like I’m out of control because I can’t keep everything clean and organized.
Rushing/not enough time to get somewhere by a certain time—this is usually my fault, but is made worse if anyone else is slowing me down.
Messy house/things left all over – by my husband & kids – which makes me feel like they think I’m their maid – this trigger is worse the worse the mess is.
When my husband gets the kids all worked up right before bed by rough-housing with them. – I’ve been asking/telling him for the 10 years we’ve had kids to do something “calming” with them right before bed, like read.
When I’m on the phone/cooking dinner/trying to get something done & the kids are acting up.
When my kids do something to embarrass me, like eating with poor manners in public, misbehaving.
Once I get in a bad mood or grumpy, I tend to stay there for too long and need help breaking the cycle more quickly.
When my mother or husband say something that offends me, I retreat or avoid. I feel paralyzed.
How can I separate my identity from my mother’s opinion of me?
How can I stop reacting immediately? It’s what I have always done.
How do I prioritize what is best for whole family, not just one person?
My spouse and kids have ADHD. I am an overwhelmed engineer, project manager type. How do I hold up the scaffolding of our home life and let kids own their actions without failing?
I need help with figuring out what I should insist on as a parent and what to let go of.
When hubby gets upset, how do I support him rather than escalating by coming into situation?
My husband feels like he’s left out of decisions and doesn’t have a voice.
How do I get my husband to engage with us instead of running away or staying at work?
What do we do when my husband barks and inflames the situation, making everyone walk on tip toes around him, and then checks out?
Hubby instigates, kids get upset, hubby takes away computer and privileges.
Child stands over me whining because he’s bored while I am trying to balance checkbook or do work. Distracting and irritating.
Loud noises irritate me.
Kids don’t have confidence or feel good about themselves.
I get very irked by background talking and playing around in class. I cannot seem to control my tone of voice—I get an edge – too mean—and then the kids resist even more. How can I keep a calm/even tone of voice?
I struggle with clutter; can you help?
I am sometimes wishy-washy with discipline. How can I be more consistent?
I find it difficult to think of creative solutions to issues and don’t always think and act well on the fly.
How do we motivate our son to take care of himself?
I have to mediate between my spouse and the kids. It’s exhausting.
I want to be in control. My dad was very controlling.
How do you distinguish between changing someone and teaching someone?
I really have a need to lecture.
My teenager has such an attitude. I find he can bring me down just by walking into a room.
I am great at silent treatment punishment. My body language and facial expressions tell everything about me.
My mom was a screamer growing up, and I have been trying very hard over the past year to avoid doing that at all cost.
I love my daughter, but I don’t always like her. I feel guilty for that.
My father was an alcoholic and ruled our house. I don’t want to be that same father.
We butt heads because we both want to be the dominant ones.
My husband and I are sick of being irritated with each other all the
time.
Son has anxiety and mild OCD.
Do you have any thoughts about medications for children?
I need help with the issue of other people believing that I need to control my kids.
I struggle with ADD, OCD, Anxiety and other issues. Should I see a therapist, go to a support group, etc?
How do my spouse and I get on the same page, with finances, discipline, eating, everything?
I stay up too late, can’t get up. Exhausted. I make morning miserable for kids. Hate this habit for years. Any help you can provide to kick my lazy butt out of bed would be wonderful.
How do you stay calm when your child is losing it physically?
My son is making good progress towards managing his anxiety/anger etc. I however, still fly off the handle and get angry.
How do I stop eating when I am anxious?
I feel like I have to repeat things 3 or more times before directions are followed.
I always want to please others.
Is it really possible to not SHOW that you are upset, and is it even a good idea-shouldn’t the kids/my husband know how I feel? I know the advice is to
If misbehavior is continuing, even after I ask my kids to please stop doing whatever it is, how can I ignore it?
How do you handle silliness in the car, at the airport security line, at the dinner table? It can really push my buttons.
How do you handle 2 boys who like to wrestle and get physical…the younger one always cries about getting hurt and the older one feels it isn’t fair that he gets punished more just because the younger one cries?
How do I get away from reminding/lecturing my kids and what kind of consequences should I give if they do forget to do things like brush their teeth or wash their face before they need to be ready to go to school or go out of the house and be w/other people?
How do I keep my kids constructively busy during vacation so that they aren’t doing video games or watching tv more than 3 hours every day?
Again on video games-do you recommend set limits, like 3 hours/day max weekends and vacation and 2 hours max on school days, or do you recommend rather “going with the flow” and not having set guidelines–just taking it day by day, based on what’s going on that day, how well he worked on his homework, how the attitude is, etc?
What do you recommend as healthy ways to manage/address/handle anxiety-beyond the morning calming routine?
How do I keep from feeling defeated around my husband and kids when they are so negative?
As a homeschooler, how can I get my kids all on the same page to start the school day?
Should we arrange play dates as a reward for good behavior (i.e. if my son can be good a couple days in a row)?
My daughter has begun screaming and hitting me…and having tantrums every day. She even takes it out on her younger sisters, who are twins.
I definitely inherited me anxiety. Seems like an incredible challenge to change something so fundamental about me. How in the heck did you do it??
How do we get our son (7) to brush his teeth? He won’t do it correctly. Then we have to re-brush and it escalates into a power struggle that takes ten minutes.
My son has difficulty accepting any type of defeat (even when it’s not really defeat) and he tends to quit. He will also cry, say it’s not fair and make excuses.
My son does NOT take any type of compliment or criticism at all.
My son is a perfectionist.
I struggle with indecision. I can make decisions with either side of my brain so I end up vacillating.
My son will say, “I just wish I was dead” or “I’m stupid.” How can he say this when we do everything we can to make him feel loved?
When the kids are loud, screaming, fighting in the car.
When they ask for TV, Wii, computer, DS, iTouch time. We don’t have set rules, but I always feel like they overdo it. I stress about them doing any of it at all partly b/c I feel like it’s bad for them and partly b/c I know there is going to be a big negotiation/fight when time is up.
When my 4 1/2 year old pees his pants because he won’t stop what he is doing to go to the bathroom.
When my kids have poor manners (burping, laughing, getting up, lying on the chairs, rocking on the chair legs) at meal time.
When my 6-year-old daughter refuses to get dressed in the morning or get out of bed.
When my kids are mean to each other with words and physically.
How do you communicate with an ex-spouse who doesn’t agree with you on a situation with your child (we’ll call him Jacob)? In this case, I think she’s being too harsh in expecting our son to stay committed to a new sport when she’s inconsistent getting him to his games.
When my mother or husband say something that offends me, I retreat or avoid. I feel paralyzed.
How can I separate my identity from my mother’s opinion of me?
When my kids do something to embarrass me, like eating with poor manners in public, misbehaving.
When my husband gets the kids all worked up right before bed by rough-housing with them. – I’ve been asking/telling him for the 10 years we’ve had kids to do something “calming” with them right before bed, like read.
When I’m on the phone/cooking dinner/trying to get something done & the kids are acting up.
I feel like I’m out of control because I can’t keep everything clean and organized.
When my kids whine-especially when they repeatedly ask for things I’ve said no to, like more dessert, more screen time-things that are privilege-they sound so spoiled when they do this.
What do you do when kids pick on each other and it gets physical? I can’t just let it go. So what do you do?
My daughter only wants to sit and play video games. Ugghhhh!
Once I get in a bad mood or grumpy, I tend to stay there for too long and need help breaking the cycle more quickly.
Loud noises and chaos.
Anytime I’m around my parents and I know they disapprove of my children’s behavior.
I feel like I have to deal with my parents disapproval on my end because my mother has outright told me that she believes that it is better not to talk about issues but to just overlook them.
Anything that makes me think my husband is showing more loyalty to his parents than me. I am embarrassed to even mention this because he’s a good man. Maybe I am overreacting.
We are getting ready to move. How do I keep the move from causing my kids more anxiety?
Last night, my husband said something that pushed two of my triggers and I exploded. I wondered if you had any tips on controlling that explosive type of anger, before I even have time to think about it.
Every year, I get exhausted and have a pity party. It feels so wrong when I have so many things to be thankful for. I’m just exhausted.
My husband does fine with our daughter, but seems to enjoy humiliating our son who isn’t up to his expectations.
When my son gets frustrated while building something, I get involved, but start barking orders.
My husband doesn’t wait to work out with me and it makes me feel rejected.
My daughter seems to waste her time and I have a hard time with it because I have always been productive. It feels like she’s not being grateful for her opportunities.
My younger daughter gets upset when her sister tries to help her with homework. I can’t always be there, so I need help. What advice can you give my older daughter?
My son won’t do his school work. He’d rather be playing with Legos.
My son makes motor sounds with his mouth. It’s irritating and he seems to enjoy the attention.
I feel like I’m never good enough.
My son gets all worked up by the way his sister chews, hums, breathes!
When my son doesn’t behave at the table, my husband gets upset and corrects him. My husband goes overboard, so I try to step in. My husband feels like I overstep my boundaries. It’s a mess.
Trigger: My sons never keep their rooms clean enough. I am afraid they won’t be able to get out in case of an emergency.
How could I handle situations when I have to tell the kids over and over each day to pick up after themselves, don’t take too long in the shower, get things out of car, do homework?
How can I teach my kids to be responsible for their actions?
Kids not listening.
What are appropriate expectations of my kids?
Being late. When I’m running behind or when people show up late. When my husband says he’ll be home and shows up anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour late.
When people move my things and never put them back
My teenager is smart, but he’s just lazy and not living up to his potential.
Back talking from the kids…”my son never just says yes mom.. it’s always a “but” or “after this” or “how about if I do this instead.”
Not keeping hands to self—kids poking at each other, touching each other’s stuff.
How does your view of authority figures/God affect you as a parent? Is your acceptance by your parents/God based on your behavior or their mercy? By what you do or what they do? That will determine how you view your child’s behavior.
Triggers for tantrums: whining, lying, direct disobedience/defiance, indifference, being yelled at, questioning/what if’s, fighting (verbal, physical, mental), asking them to do something many times, not following directions, talking back, “I forgot,” begging, being caught off guard, being ignored, unthoughtful actions.
Reasons for my reactions: insecurity, fear of kids’ reactions and moods, being unprepared myself, no plan of action, afraid I’ll say something wrong, don’t want to upset anyone, easily intimidated, don’t want to hurt feelings, “I am the Mom. I know what I am talking about,” “This is my job and you are making it harder,” protection, sensitivity, overwhelmed, perfection.
My son is getting ready to go to college. How do I back off and let him own this rather than losing sleep over every test, his SATs, wondering if he’s going to get into the right college and more?
My kids drive me crazy; how can I get them moving more quickly and doing what I ask?
I’m an anxious person and I don’t like ambiguity. Can you help?
I home school our kids and although I love it, sometimes it really stresses me out! What can I do to relieve that stress?
What do I do when my kids won’t listen to my lectures? I want them to learn good life skills and it frustrates me that they tune me out.
Any quick thoughts on getting kids to do chores?
How can we make weekends less chaotic?
My spouse and I are divorced and have split custody. Any tips?
Being a single Mom is tough. Any tips?
Finances are a big stressor in our life. How do we stay calm when things are so tight?
My son (10) has a difficult time taking his pills. My husband and I get frustrated and take away privileges, but that’s not helping.
I get stressed because my son is so smart, but forgets his homework and assignments. How can we help him?
How do you stay calm when you’ve just had it?
Will This Work for Me?
Last year, Kirk debuted this process with a small group of families in North America and Europe. We asked the families for their confidential feedback and here are random responses we thought you’d find helpful.
“It is only after starting this that I have started to love and appreciate what I have. I have stopped some of my addictive behaviors. This has truly made a huge impact in my thinking. Thank you for helping me get my self-confidence and JOY in my (our) lives!!”
“I have been the ‘retreater’ of uncomfortable situations because that is what I have done forever. Yesterday, I told my son that I get demanding when they don’t do their schoolwork or something quick enough because of my own anxiety. He sat there quietly and then said, ‘Mom, I love you’.”
Why did you join the Calm Challenge?
“After years of just using my kids (two with special needs) as an excuse for our crazy life, I realized it was time I changed myself.”
“One day my sister said, ‘Do you realize you’ve turned into Mom?’ I had become so controlling and obsessed about everything, from what my daughter wore to what she ate to how she talked to me and others. I couldn’t even enjoy her anymore.”
“When you wrote the message about becoming resentful, that was me. I didn’t know how to get respect because I didn’t even respect myself. Eye-opener.”
“I signed up with my husband. He’d come home and yell every night because that’s what his father did, and then when they didn’t shape up, he’d take away all their privileges. I wanted him to hear this from another man, that it isn’t the way it is supposed to be. We spent fifteen minutes every night talking about US, not the kids. He’s a different man.”
What was the most difficult part of the Calm Challenge?
“…just believing that I COULD be different. I’ve been stuck in this pattern for so long and been to so many therapists for my kids, but never realized how much power I have. But I needed this.”
“…admitting it was my issue and not my kids or anyone else…”
“…letting go of my control issues. I think I was comfortable being a control freak because it made me feel like I was in charge when I really wasn’t. But it’s all I had known so it felt safe to me.”
What surprised you most?
“…how I began to look forward to the daily time with myself. I hadn’t had that for years and it felt good.”
“…hands down, the spiritual aspect. I always said, ‘God is in control,’ but I was lying to myself. I was in control and that didn’t work out so well, now did it?!”
“I really liked Kirk’s personal answers to other people’s questions that I had not thought to ask. It helped to know other people were thinking the same thing and struggling with similar issues.”
“This went way deeper than I had imagined. I didn’t know I had been carrying this anxiety since I was a child, but it felt liberating to let it go.”
What did you find most helpful?
“…the daily action steps…I know it takes weeks to build new habits and I needed this. It has carried over and now I can’t imagine not having this time with myself each day…life-changing…”
“Kirk’s answers to tough questions. It makes so much sense. From the first day, I’ve thought he understood me and my kids more than anyone else I’ve ever met.”
“I’ve been to weekend retreats before, but the magic wears off after coming home. The 7-week thing scared me at first, but it’s what helped most. With a busy family, it helped that I could access it from my home or car or office, and I didn’t have to travel to some remote place.”
“…my family life is completely different because I am a different person. That’s priceless. My husband noticed the difference so I gave him my workbook to read. So far, so good!”
